i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
