She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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