evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Two words: blizzard sex
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
