I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
