who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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