Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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