don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize