She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
