We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
