He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just google imaged poop.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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