the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
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Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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