I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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