yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
