'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
