An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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