Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My balls are so social today.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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