I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
