So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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