Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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