hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize