WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize