I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
