Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
