we have officially lost it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
