Having a random hookup so left but love u
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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