It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
