belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
