can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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