Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
