Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
