I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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