Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
