so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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