big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
