And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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