Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize