I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize