i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
