She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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