My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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