Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
pray to the hookup gods
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
