Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.