My sheets look like a crime scene.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize