4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
