Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
