I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
