What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
