mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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