I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
