yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
