I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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