Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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