She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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