he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize