So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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