...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
