Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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