You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
