Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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