i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
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Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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