we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
