Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize