I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My cat gives me a boner
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
