i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
